A year ago this month, I quit my day job and embarked on this experiment of doing my art for a living. First, I used the safety cushion of taking a dance job with a weekly paycheck. The problem was, the timing wasn't right and my head wasn't in that particular game. See the job was a sort of Flamenco-fusion dance variety show that was going to tour to Vegas in about a month and a half from my start date. I had to learn a ton of choreography in two weeks as well as adopt a totally different attitude towards dance. Out with "Flamenco Face". In with "showgirl blissful smile". Out with intense tension in every move. In with flowing flowiness. I'm not disparaging the show I was a part of. I think the people that were in it were incredibly hard workers and I admired their dedication. It just was not me and everything was trying to tell me I didn't fit there, including the black and white sequined off-the-shoulder and ruffle-train dress for my opening number, which not only tried to rip itself off of me several times, but even tripped me and sent me soaring across the stage and onto my chin and knee. I ended up with a bruise shaped like a fishnet. Oh yeah, and the dress ripped itself off of me when I landed. No, no, this type of show was not for me. So when the choreographer told me that there just wasn't enough time to get me ready for Vegas and that she couldn't take me, I breathed a sigh of relief.
And then I panicked. No job and now only Flamenco to depend on. What was I going to do? My mind started racing that first day, but I thought to myself, "everything happens for a reason, right? Your day job was too stressful and that last job was just not you". I calmed down and when I calmed down, I got the answer. Flamenco was the answer. I soon started getting called for gig after gig. I started dancing all around town and even out of town. At weddings and even a bat mitzvah. That flying leap I took not only slapped me in the face, it actually landed me into my lifetime goal--to live from my art. Now it hasn't been easy. The first six months, the money was pretty stable and recently...eh, not so much. However, I don't regret it and neither does my husband. Things may be tight right now, but we've been together long enough to know that these things go in cycles. There were the days we joke, "when we were rich", but working so much and so hard, that we barely got to be together and we weren't very happy. Then there were the days when we were in more debt than we are now and maybe wasting a little too much money partying a little too hard, but having a whole lotta fun. We can probably both agree that some of our happiest years were when we lived in Spain, even though we were making even less money, but we made great friends, ate great food, and had great adventures. The other day, we both agreed that even though money is tight, we feel positive about the future. He told me he liked how happy I was these days, just focused on my dancing. We both agreed we were feeling much healthier with our new Paleo lifestyle, which I'll be writing more about in the future as I think what you eat really makes a difference when you're a dancer. Maybe we're now "old and boring" at 36 and 39, but we don't feel the need to wear ourselves and our wallets out partying like we used to and we really enjoy our time at home together. And home is my inner little artist's dream come true with my own dance floor and piano and shelves and shelves of books and friends' art on the walls.
I feel very grateful and lucky that I get to do what I love for a living and I guess I want you to know that if you have a dream or a project that you've been hesitant to pursue, listen carefully to what your life is trying to tell you and take that leap. And if life, or a sequined dress, takes the leap for you, even if you land on your face, you'll get right up and find that the fall was better than avoiding the fall.
And then I panicked. No job and now only Flamenco to depend on. What was I going to do? My mind started racing that first day, but I thought to myself, "everything happens for a reason, right? Your day job was too stressful and that last job was just not you". I calmed down and when I calmed down, I got the answer. Flamenco was the answer. I soon started getting called for gig after gig. I started dancing all around town and even out of town. At weddings and even a bat mitzvah. That flying leap I took not only slapped me in the face, it actually landed me into my lifetime goal--to live from my art. Now it hasn't been easy. The first six months, the money was pretty stable and recently...eh, not so much. However, I don't regret it and neither does my husband. Things may be tight right now, but we've been together long enough to know that these things go in cycles. There were the days we joke, "when we were rich", but working so much and so hard, that we barely got to be together and we weren't very happy. Then there were the days when we were in more debt than we are now and maybe wasting a little too much money partying a little too hard, but having a whole lotta fun. We can probably both agree that some of our happiest years were when we lived in Spain, even though we were making even less money, but we made great friends, ate great food, and had great adventures. The other day, we both agreed that even though money is tight, we feel positive about the future. He told me he liked how happy I was these days, just focused on my dancing. We both agreed we were feeling much healthier with our new Paleo lifestyle, which I'll be writing more about in the future as I think what you eat really makes a difference when you're a dancer. Maybe we're now "old and boring" at 36 and 39, but we don't feel the need to wear ourselves and our wallets out partying like we used to and we really enjoy our time at home together. And home is my inner little artist's dream come true with my own dance floor and piano and shelves and shelves of books and friends' art on the walls.
I feel very grateful and lucky that I get to do what I love for a living and I guess I want you to know that if you have a dream or a project that you've been hesitant to pursue, listen carefully to what your life is trying to tell you and take that leap. And if life, or a sequined dress, takes the leap for you, even if you land on your face, you'll get right up and find that the fall was better than avoiding the fall.
Fishnet bruise, modeled with pride.
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